Overeager Beavers

There are a lot of people out there who give some very bad advice about job-seeking to interns.

So on behalf of intern supervisors everywhere, I beg you: Please stop asking your students to drop by or call.

Prospective interns, if you are going to contact an employer, e-mail is the preferred - nay, only - method that you should use whenever possible.  E-mail is a beautiful thing, because it's not disruptive.  I check my e-mail first thing in the morning, around lunch, and before I go home.  I can flag items that I want to respond to later because they aren't a pressing priority.

Just dropping by is probably the worst thing that you can do.  I know that some of you were encouraged to do this by parents or advisers.  It seems to make sense: it shows initiative.  And while it does, that's not how it seems on the other end. 

The internship I posted is probably really important to you - especially if you know deep in your heart that it's the first step to completing Your Life Plan.  And it's important to me to mentor and encourage young workers, but it's not really my top priority.  I have to take time out of my regularly scheduled broadcasting to read resumes and schedule interviews, and some of my work is - I'm sorry - more important than the internship.

Dropping by suddenly puts me in a very awkward position.  If I have a phone call or a meeting scheduled, you are going to have to wait.  I would love to have the time to interview you on the spot, but I don't.  I feel an awkward mix of guilty and miffed that doesn't bode well for you.

Calling can be just as bad.  A phone call, like a sudden drop in, has a fairly good chance of disrupting my work. 

Now, there are times when a phone call is justified.  If you've looked at my website and can't find the listings, please call and ask.  If you don't have regular computer access or you have a disability that makes it difficult to read the website, please call and ask.

But if you haven't taken the initiative to visit my organization's website and search for internship opportunities, that's going to be a major strike against you. 

I want my interns to be able to tackle real-world problems.  I want them to participate in projects like regular employees.  I don't want glorified filers.  I need to know that you're capable of making good judgment calls before I can give you responsibility like that.

Not going to the website first signals that you are going to require more hand-holding.  It makes me wonder how you're going to be able to make common sense decisions in the workplace.

That said, please e-mail me with any questions you have regarding timetables, work hours, pay and workload.  These are all things I can happily respond to on a Friday afternoon.

Internal thoughts are internal

I've interviewed quite a few prospective interns over the past week.

I've encountered a lot of things I expected.  Every sentence, sounding, like, a question, with lots of, like, dramatic pauses, and maybe just a phrase not, um, a sentence?  People awkwardly reading from my website or prepared statements and trying to sound too professional (I imagine the gals doing this while wearing an oversized mom suit from Talbot's, and the guys wearing pants up to their chest).  Wild guesses instead of correct answers to simple questions; unnecessary elaborations.

What has really shocked me, though, is the rampant plague of pedes in oris. 

It wasn't that long ago that I was frantically applying for internships so my parents would leave me alone for five, maybe six minutes.  "If you don't get an internship, you'll work at Wendy's for the rest of your life!"  (I did get an internship, mom - and come to think of it, I really wouldn't mind working at Wendy's, because I bet I'd get free Frosties).  But I seem to remember being able to censor myself a little better.

The comments I've heard in the past few days have ranged from the mildly sexist to the accidentally racist to the blatantly offensive.

How did some people make it 18-22 years in this world without knowing that there are some subjects too taboo for a job interview?  The fundamental differences between men and women, whether people in certain professions are "gay" or not, widely held negative views toward certain groups of people - I asked you what you liked about your last work experience.  I wanted you to say something about enjoying the experience or loving volunteer work.

Here's just a few things to remember:

• I am probably not going to ask you questions about specific religions/races/genders/sexual orientations/classifications of people (i.e. people who think canadian bacon is bacon vs. people who know that it is ham).  So you should probably not bring them up.
• If you're going to make assertions about groups of people, you should make sure they are supported by data.  Statistics are awesome. 
• Please take a few seconds to run your answer through your head before you say it out loud.